Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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