Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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