if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
