I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so that wasnt chicken after all
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
