Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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