he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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