hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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