i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
