She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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