i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize