You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize