my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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