That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
