Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize