I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
