Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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