he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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