Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
