turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
