you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
