just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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