I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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