jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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