ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
