i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
