Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize