Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
