We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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