so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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