Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
