Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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