I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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