remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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