Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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