Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
