No awkward lesbian experiences without me
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
