it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Randomize
