Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
