Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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