Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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