is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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