I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize