I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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