Where is the hickey?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
