Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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