we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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