is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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