eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
