Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
