the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
