Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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