just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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