Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
