Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
