There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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