Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
