I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
