I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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