Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
