so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
