So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You left your phone here
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