I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
